Zigong asked, "Who is more virtuous, Shi or Shang?"
Confucius said, "Shi often goes too far, and Shang often falls short."
"Does that mean Shi is better?"
Confucius said, "Going too far is the same as falling short," (Wangdao 205).
If I did not hypothesize for this week, would it be considered falling short? I think it would simply because I have made it a part of every week. The curious thing about this week is how to fix the situation when you've gone too far or fallen short. Is there a way to fix it? I can see myself botching something and feeling the need to fix it, but will I be able to? Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and more in next weeks installment of (duh, duh, duh) The Confucius Experiment.
December 1, 2008
In Corner One: Sincerity
Earlier in the day I considered acting on the feeling I had of not wanting to go. Instead I told myself to get rid of that defeatist attitude and make sure I had a good time.
Yes, there were many questions at English Corner (quite often repeated back to back) about where I am from and what school I go to. However, I was also asked some very intriguing questions. Some of them included being asked how to prevent AIDS in view of December 1st being International AIDS Awareness Day. I ended up having a discussion about creative writing and how to go about developing your own personal style. The man that spoke to me on that subject stunned me; He is the only Chinese person I have met so far that has successfully developed a very American accent. There was an eleven year-old girl there with her father whose English name is the same as my grandmother. At one point during the night, she began to tell a very funny story about a boy in her class. She was very shy and her English wasn’t all put together, but I had to laugh in that she was laughing so hard at her own story. It reminded me of when I would just gab on and on even when the people I talked to weren’t listening anymore. Oh wait, that still happens ;)
In the end, I was one of the last people to leave after talking way too much about TV shows and giving a couple of the guys unusual English names. One of the people I met actually studied in Singapore the same year that I did, except that he attended NUS instead of NTU. I really felt that I had come away feeling just how small the world is.
When you are in a country where a large number of students have been learning a language for many years without a lot of practice, it’s inevitable that you meet those who just want to speak instead of become friends. I don’t think this is a purely Chinese phenomenon. If all American students spent their whole lives learning Chinese and suddenly had the opportunity to speak to a Chinese tourist, I know I would take it. However, that does not diminish the importance of remembering to be heartfelt.
Last year at ASU I decided to eat at the cafeteria one night. I had recently found out that I had been accepted to study at Sichuan University. During my meal I noticed two Chinese girls come and sit in a booth near my table. For the rest of my meal I debated whether or not I should talk to them. I felt that I had no reason to fear talking to them, but even at the time I knew that I mostly wanted to say out loud that I would be studying in China one day.
Just as they were leaving I turned to ask one of them where they were from. Sadly, I don’t remember what city either girl said. I remember getting to tell them that I would be in Chengdu the following semester. I remember the looks on their faces that probably said the same thing as mine has said often enough here. “I realize that I’m a foreigner and that, for some reason, gives you the incentive to treat me like an old friend but what I would rather have is someone who just wants to be a friend.”
It doesn’t matter what my real intent was in talking to them because I realize that it goes both ways. I’ll bet that those girls were a lot of fun to be around and yet I was more involved in letting them know that I will be going to their country to study. For some reason I thought that it would brighten their day. Perhaps by speaking English to me some here feel that they are brightening my day. Yet without sincerity behind these introductions both sides get a very empty experience. No one likes those. I could not be recommended as a friend for what I said to those two girls simply because it had no value.
Yes, there were many questions at English Corner (quite often repeated back to back) about where I am from and what school I go to. However, I was also asked some very intriguing questions. Some of them included being asked how to prevent AIDS in view of December 1st being International AIDS Awareness Day. I ended up having a discussion about creative writing and how to go about developing your own personal style. The man that spoke to me on that subject stunned me; He is the only Chinese person I have met so far that has successfully developed a very American accent. There was an eleven year-old girl there with her father whose English name is the same as my grandmother. At one point during the night, she began to tell a very funny story about a boy in her class. She was very shy and her English wasn’t all put together, but I had to laugh in that she was laughing so hard at her own story. It reminded me of when I would just gab on and on even when the people I talked to weren’t listening anymore. Oh wait, that still happens ;)
In the end, I was one of the last people to leave after talking way too much about TV shows and giving a couple of the guys unusual English names. One of the people I met actually studied in Singapore the same year that I did, except that he attended NUS instead of NTU. I really felt that I had come away feeling just how small the world is.
When you are in a country where a large number of students have been learning a language for many years without a lot of practice, it’s inevitable that you meet those who just want to speak instead of become friends. I don’t think this is a purely Chinese phenomenon. If all American students spent their whole lives learning Chinese and suddenly had the opportunity to speak to a Chinese tourist, I know I would take it. However, that does not diminish the importance of remembering to be heartfelt.
Last year at ASU I decided to eat at the cafeteria one night. I had recently found out that I had been accepted to study at Sichuan University. During my meal I noticed two Chinese girls come and sit in a booth near my table. For the rest of my meal I debated whether or not I should talk to them. I felt that I had no reason to fear talking to them, but even at the time I knew that I mostly wanted to say out loud that I would be studying in China one day.
Just as they were leaving I turned to ask one of them where they were from. Sadly, I don’t remember what city either girl said. I remember getting to tell them that I would be in Chengdu the following semester. I remember the looks on their faces that probably said the same thing as mine has said often enough here. “I realize that I’m a foreigner and that, for some reason, gives you the incentive to treat me like an old friend but what I would rather have is someone who just wants to be a friend.”
It doesn’t matter what my real intent was in talking to them because I realize that it goes both ways. I’ll bet that those girls were a lot of fun to be around and yet I was more involved in letting them know that I will be going to their country to study. For some reason I thought that it would brighten their day. Perhaps by speaking English to me some here feel that they are brightening my day. Yet without sincerity behind these introductions both sides get a very empty experience. No one likes those. I could not be recommended as a friend for what I said to those two girls simply because it had no value.
On the flip side, it’s good to remember not to discredit the wisdom in someone’s words just because of their personality. I am still wondering what made that guy talk about AIDS Awareness at English Corner. Maybe he has a family member who is afflicted. Perhaps he was just nervous and needed a topic familiar to everyone. Either way, I’m glad he did. AIDS is important to discuss as well and I truly didn’t know that December 1st was a significant day. I think we can accurately say that sincerity can lead to a better knowledge and understanding of people, which can lead to stronger relationships.
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